Assisted Living Frequently Asked Questions » Safety
My mother has rugs all over her retirement apartment. The nurse in the community told her that she may want to consider taking them out, because the nurse is concerned that my mother will trip over the carpets. Truth be known, she has, and she’s even fallen; but they are one of her fondest memories of her home and her past. To give them up would be a great loss to her. What do I do?
Many people get emotionally tied to possessions - even possessions that can be potentially hazardous to our health. Decisions like this are always a balancing act. What do you gain by giving up something else? As we grow older, the number of choices we have declines and the amount of loss we experience is much greater than when we were younger. It's understandable that you are conflicted about what to do.
What the nurse is saying to you is a valid concern. There are two avoidable things many seniors do that create a lot of broken hips and head injuries. Those two things are rugs and lack of bathroom safety equipment. Also important is good lighting, but rugs and bathroom safety are much higher on the list of risks for older adults.
As people age, they tend not to lift their feet up as high as they used to. Balance becomes more difficult due to vision and hearing loss as well as decreasing flexibility and decreased bone density. Your mother has to make her own decision after weighing out the risks versus the prospect of loss. You can suggest or encourage, but taking the rugs out without her permission would likely be emotionally hurtful to her.
If your mother chooses to keep the rugs, you may have to become more comfortable with realizing that you can't protect your mother from injury. Unless she has moderate or severe memory loss, she is capable and likely very interested in making her own decisions. It's possible that the nurse will bring this subject up multiple times with your mother, and she/he may also ask you to get involved to attempt to convince your mother. You may consider asking to have a family meeting about the subject.
The retirement and assisted living community has a responsibility to point out possible risks and to attempt to remove possible barriers or concerns for their resident's safety. The nurse is likely to have years of experience seeing how debilitating a hip fracture can be; and he or she is typically more resolute in what needs to happen.
If the retirement or assisted living community requests that the rugs be removed, and things become much more serious, you may ask the nurse and community manager if your mother can sign a "negotiated risk agreement." By signing this agreement, the community is documenting that they've done their part on informing your mother of the risk and that she has made her own decision to accept that risk in trade of keeping her rugs.
Some creative families have come up with ways of striking a compromise. They've displayed a carpet as a wall hanging; or they have removed rugs in a high traffic area and have moved just one rug to an area seldom used. Unfortunately, most retirement and assisted living apartments are smaller in size, and rugs are a danger no matter where they're placed.
This may be a subject you need to revisit every six months, just to check in with your mother regarding her willingness to part with the rugs. You may consider asking her what she would like to see happen to the rugs when she passes away. This may open up the subject of having the rugs given to family members while she is still living; or it may give you a better understanding just how passionate she is about keeping the rugs.
Last update: 2007-06-05 00:38
Author: Tech Support
Revision: 1.1
