Assisted Living Frequently Asked Questions » Concerns
My mother never eats breakfast. She had agreed to move to an assisted living community, but now she's refusing to go, because she feels it's a waste of money that they won't give her a credit for not eating breakfast.
This is not an unusual concern; however, it's possible that your mother is making more out of this issue than is really necessary.
You may want to explore just how much value she places on this concern, or is she really just scared about the move and worried about fitting into a new routine? It is frightening for someone accustomed to a routine to see themselves living around other people all the time. You can assure your mother that she will have her privacy wherever she is moving.
In reality, having breakfast available is a great thing for your mother. As she grows older, her apetite may decrease. Having staff monitor and encourage her to eat may be helpful to her health.
You may suggest to your mother that she join people in the dining room for a cup of coffee or a pot of tea. A lot of older adults, who live on their own, don't eat breakfast; but you may be surprised! Many people change once they are living in a social setting. It is not uncommon to experience an improved apetite when we are in the company of other people.
If your mother is a late riser, and she simply can't envision herself getting up, getting ready and making it to breakfast, then you are likely best to support her with her decision. Perhaps using a bit of humor may help by saying, "then mom, maybe you should ask for an extra helping of mashed potatoes at dinner to make up for your missed breakfast." If humor wouldn't work, then simply acknowledging her concern may help.
She has a valid point - she is paying for something she's not getting. Unfortunately, the community where she is moving really doesn't experience much of a cost savings if she doesn't eat. Most of the cost of operating the community has little to do with the cost of the food she is consuming.
Another option is to ask if you can visit her one day a week for breakfast. Seeking a compromise may be your solution to resolving this problem.
For assistance with arranging for in-home care or for help choosing a senior housing or care community call CHOICE at 800-361-0138.
Last update: 2007-03-23 15:19
Author: Support
Revision: 1.1
