Assisted Living Articles » Interacting with the Assisted Living Community
How often should I visit?
This is a difficult topic to cover. When a family member or friend first moves into an Assisted Living community, people tend to want to visit frequently. Guilt, fear or anxiety may cause family members to be overly diligent during the first thirty to ninety days after a move to Assisted Living.
Keep in mind that the older adult is going to have new interactions and experiences with other people than just family members and friends.
It may be wise to review how frequently you have been visiting the older adult over the past three months and how frequently you intend to visit them over the next twelve months. If you have been visiting them daily, as they have been becoming frailer, then you may at first consider visiting daily or every other day. If you’ve been visiting only weekly and you decide to visit daily when the older adult first moves, they may become overly dependent upon your visit and not take the necessary steps to integrate into the community.
Your intent for future visits should also dictate the frequency of your visits during the first thirty to ninety days of a move. If your intent is to visit once every two weeks in the future, then it may not be a wise idea to visit every other day when the move first occurs.
Managers and staff of Assisted Living communities are highly adept at transitioning, and they are aware of what needs to happen to be of greatest help to an older adult. It’s advisable to ask the staff directly what they feel is needed and best for the older adult.
If a family member has dementia, it’s even more important to communicate with the staff. Many times family members feel that their frequent visits or willingness to take the older adult out for an outing is helpful to the older adult. Unfortunately, certain types of dementia cause a person to become disoriented and more anxious from frequent change.
Family members and friends who visit a person with dementia may also wish to visit more frequently to help monitor the care and interaction the staff is giving to the person. People who are no longer able to communicate their needs are more at risk for being overlooked; however, it is also important to recognize that when you visit an older adult with dementia, the caregivers will tend to give you private space. It may be easy to get the impression that the older adult is being ignored, when in fact; you are being given privacy to have a personal interaction with your family member or friend.
Visiting should be based on what is needed by the older adult and not based on the needs of the family member or friends. Keep in mind that the older adult may not have the stamina for lengthy visits, and because of pain, frailty and a tendency of humans to enjoy a routine, your visit may not necessarily be as wanted or needed as you may perceive. You may find that visits which are short are more effective than longer visits. Many older adults begin to experience a shift in energy after the first half hour of interaction. Taking note of the person’s body language is important, as they are not likely to ask you to leave, and they may not even be aware that they are growing tired from your visit.
We all need human interaction. And when you visit, be certain to touch the older adult if they are open to you holding their hand or placing your hand on their shoulder. Because our society is litigious, providers are cautious about touching people, which is a tremendous loss for many older adults. Ask the older adult if you may hug them, as they may experience pain and not tell you this. Sometimes holding a hand or simply placing your shoulder against an older person’s should can give them more positive energy than having a long discussion.
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Last update: 2007-04-02 20:14
Author: Tech Support
Revision: 1.0
