Assisted Living Frequently Asked Questions » Getting started
I'm not sure how to initiate a conversation regarding my mom moving from her home. Any helpful suggestions?
It's likely that your mother has also been thinking about the possibility of moving, but you are correct in assuming that it may be a difficult subject to broach. The fear you have of upsetting your mother is a very real fear; and it may be an upsetting conversation that ensues.
Keep in mind that it is unlikely that you will have one single, heart-to-heart conversation with her. If time allows, it's best to approach this subject a little bit at a time over a longer period of time.
The best advice is to be concise and to use open-ended questions such as, "Do you think that you may want to..." or "I'm wondering if you may be open to the idea..." You will find it's much more likely your mother will be willing to talk to you, if you couch your comments in questions that give her the control over her own life and decisions rather than making suggestions to her or telling her what you think she should do. For the most part, parents want to remain independent...and for the most part, your parent is still your parent in her mind. She will not likely take kindly to you telling her how to "run her life." Your mother is likely of the opinion that parents tell their children how to run their lives, and not the reverse.
If your mother is at risk in her current living environment, you're likely interested in giving more direct encouragement to initiate a move. You will benefit from giving your mother time to think and visualize herself moving. Having several short conversations is much more productive than trying to have one, big and life-changing discussion.
For assistance with arranging for in-home care or for help choosing a senior housing or care community call CHOICE at 800-361-0138.
Last update: 2007-03-23 15:27
Author: Support
Revision: 1.1
