Assisted Living Frequently Asked Questions » Getting started
How can I prepare my mother for the change she's going to experience when she moves into the home we've chosen for her?
If she's able to participate in the decision to move, she should be included as much as possible. Even making a special trip for her to see where she will be living may be of help to her.
Most older adults have fears and worries about moving. They often think they will have to carry all of the boxes themselves, or that they will have to unpack and set up their new home all on their own. They also have worries that they may not like their new home, or that they won't "fit in" with the other residents.
It's not uncommon for older adults to view themselves as more capable and not nearly as old as "all of those other old people" living in a retirement or assisted living community.
The good news is that people get back into a routine in a month to six months of time. It may take longer, but there is little you can do to help. In fact, you may find that the more you try to encourage and engage your mother to participate, the less likely she is to do so. It is her neighbors and the staff and the people who come to visit the community that will inspire her to get out and to interact with other people. You have little influence on your mother's outlook on life.
Keep in mind, too, that you likely would like your mother to be more social than she may care to be. It's not uncommon for adult children to want their parents to take part in every activity possible. Remember that your mother may have been living an almost solitary life over the past several years, and doing something as simple as getting her mail may be all the social interaction she needs. And certainly, having a meal in the dining room is a tremendous way to connect and interact with people.
You can best help your mother by protecting her independence and supporting her with her own choices.
For assistance with arranging for in-home care or for help choosing a senior housing or care community call CHOICE at 800-361-0138.
Last update: 2007-03-23 15:22
Author: Support
Revision: 1.1
