Assisted Living Frequently Asked Questions » Getting started
How long will it take for my mother to feel like the Assisted Living community is her home?
It's hard to say.
The majority of people start experiencing a sense of home within the first one to six months. It is not immprobable that your mother may have mixed feelings about her move. She may have greater feelings of security within her first week, but they may be clouded by feelings of loss and concern that she is becomming dependent upon other people.
On rare occassions, it can take a person up to a year to fit into a new routine. There is little anyone can do to help a person transition or to fit into a new routine. The willingness to adapt has to come from within the individual.
Senior housing and care providers do a lot to reduce the time it takes to transition; and other residents are aware of how difficult this move is for people, so they are likely to be of emotional support. Ultimately, it is your mother's decision as to whether she wishes to be accepting of her new lifestyle or if she's going to focus on the past and regret her move.
Regret is a common feeling. Older adults are frequently not aware of their decreasing energy and decreasing abilities to care for themselves. If your mother feels she has made the wrong move, it is probable that she's not aware that she's making decisions based on "old data." She may no longer be as strong and as independent as she may remember herself being. She now has to rely upon other people to enhance her quality of life.
To be of help to your mother, you can encourage, but never demand or direct. Her opinions and her feelings are what are most important to her.
If she is being what you may feel is "unrealistic" about her outlook on her move, discuss this with your mother along with the Nurse or Wellness Director within the community. It may be that suggestions can be made to help develop a plan to work towards feeling better about the move; or perhaps the health care professional can make suggestions regarding therapy or medications that may help with the transition process.
Depression, regret, fear and worry are common among older adults; however, there are things that can help minimize these feelings that can overshadow the benefits of making the move.
For assistance with arranging for in-home care or for help choosing a senior housing or care community call CHOICE at 800-361-0138.
Last update: 2007-03-23 15:21
Author: Support
Revision: 1.1
